Starting Something New

So yeah, I'm still keeping this blog up, but I want to move onto something new, something better and more personal. Plus this old site brings up a lot of hurtful memories. SOOOOO without further ado, I entroduce my new blog!

Sunset is Golden

Be sure to follow and comment, I'm gonna need support on this one, you guys

*Sigh*

It's been a long, trying week.

I'm feeling a little bit better about Poochie, and I thank you guys for the kind words.

As for everything else, I'm not too sure how I feel. It's been two months since Tim and I split, yet I can't get him off of my mind. Even though he's not here, I see him everywhere.

I see him every time I look at the gazebo in my front yard, where he and my dad trimmed the bushes to prepare for my sister's birthday party.

I see him, whenever I walk into the kitchen, leaning over the stove preparing some off-the-wall dish from his mind.

I feel him every time  listen to a song by Billie Holiday or Lois Armstrong.

I think of him every time I visit the bonfire area of our yard, where we had our first kiss.

And my heart aches the most for him when I sit in the Ivy Patch, the place where I first felt love. I've taken to visiting that area quite often. Maybe it's self-torture, but the part of me that still clings to his memory can't let go of that milestone.

This has become the theme song for the Ivy patch, as the Hollow Tree is a direct link to my memories.



 I wish I knew how to make everything right.

:(

Well you guys, today is a sad day. I found Poochie in the back yard, dead. We gave him a proper burial.

I don't mean to be dramatic, but it really seems that whenever I develop love for someone, (and yes Poochie is counted as a someone), I end up losing them. I'm cursed.

New channel

soooo.... I've started a new youtube channel, and I'm thinking about incorporating it into the blog... wadya think?

:/

this pretty much sums up how I feel currently:

Warning: Gushiness Ahead

Okay, okay. You can unfold those arms of yours and stop tapping your foot now. Jeeze, you people are so impatient!

Haha, just kidding you guys. I know it's been a while since I've blogged but recently I've stumbled upon something. I wanted to blog about it, but I wasn't sure if I should for a long while. What is it, you may ask. Well, it's a boy!

Hey, hey! I saw you roll your eyes!

This guy is actually VERY good company to me, I'll have you know. He's wonderfully charming, smart, and absolutely smoldering to the eyes. He's a Leo, and that's what his alias is right now.... at least until I'm sure that his privacy isn't at stake.

So, Leo and I have been talking for quite some time now, and I must admit that I'm drawn more and more to him every time we speak. Honestly, I have more in common with him than anyone I've ever met. Sometimes it gives me chills, even.

So that, along with work and school, is the reason I've neglected you my dear friends. I'm very sorry. But we're still friends right?

...

AWWWW! I love you guys! I knew you'd never leave me!

D;

 I know I've neglected the community... but I've done it for a reason, I swear! I've been working on my photography and making new friends.... Here, I'll let you guys see the products of my labor....

Stop to Smell the Flowers!

     I do apologize for my terrible mood in my last post. Well, at least I half apologize... apparently people found it pretty funny.

     I am happy to say that today I'm in a much better mood. I went to class, came home, and immediately changed into my exercise equipment. The past couple of days I've been rebuilding my exercising routine. You see, last summer I could walk eight miles a day no problem. Now, since I've been so lazy lately, if I even tried to walk that far, my feet would blister and I would be sore and weak. So, I'm going mile by mile to re-accomplish my goal.

     But that's not what I came here to tell you about.

     Today I had a revelation. I used to think that only people in the city led busy, hectic lives and forgot to enjoy the small things. Little did I realize, I've been doing the same thing. I've been WAY to swamped with all of my personal issues that I've forgotten how inspiring plain nature can be.

    While on my walk, I noticed this small pathway. Now I've seen this pathway and where it leads before, but I've never FULLY appreciated it.

     So, I followed the path to find an old abandoned building. Seeing as how I'd brought my camera along for some photography samples, I whipped it out and started taking pictures.

     You never know what you are gonna find with pictures. When you use a camera, you start to see the world in a whole new light, paying attention to every little detail.







        So when I went inside, I didn't see just some old, abandoned building. No, I saw a place that was once useful and alive. As I gazed upon the barren, cracked walls, I wondered what this building had seen over the years, the stories it could tell, the secrets it had held. What was it's story?
     So, having the wild imagination that I do, I began to think up a thousand different tales.

It suddenly became a stable, where the local farmer kept his animals.

     It was also the site of a game of house, played by a little boy and a girl who's laughter bounced off the walls.

     It then became the building in which was the meeting place of two secret lovers who met here after sunset, against their father's will.
  
Perhaps it was the secret hiding place where an evil serial killer of the past hid his victim's bodies?

   Sure, my theories are a bit imaginative, but who's to say they didn't actually happen?

     In actuality I'm sure this place was just some dull, storage area where, except the occasional visit from the owner, nothing ever really happened.

     But that's not the point.



     Don't ever take things for granted. Stop and just look around at your surroundings. It can take you on journeys that you would have never even conceived.

Hmph

   ...and yes, I'm pouting.

     As you know, yesterday was Vale-... ahem... Single's Awareness Day and the past few days leading up to it have been RIDICULOUS!

     If you didn't know, I work at a grocery store and it has been hectic this WHOLE past weekend. I'm SICK of hearts and cards, and possibly the color red altogether. It's disgusting.

     Okay, so maybe I feel that way because I've never had a Valentine. That's right, laugh it up you guys. I'm a Valentine Virgin.

    Anyways, It's not a fun experience to see all of these people exchanging gifts, laughter, kisses even (get a room) while all you can do is sit there and watch all of this happen.

     Would you like to know what i got for Single's Awareness Day? A giant piece of chocolate... from my mom. Granted, it's a kind gesture, but it's not exactly the most comforting thing to know that your MOM is your Valentine.

Here's a picture of the giant chocolate.

     Oh wait, is that an empty bottle of Captain Morgan? What a coincidence.

Snow Dayyyy!

     That's right you heard it here first: It has snowed in Chilton County, Alabama!

     I've been outside all day doing everything imaginable in the snow; Having one-person snowball fights, dancing around, and, of course, practicing my expert photography skills, haha.

     Speaking of which, I have been taking this art class in my college courses and, even though I always have, I have started to appreciate the artistic qualities in everything! So I went out and tried my best to take some meaningful pictures, then came inside and did my editing, and I must say i surprised myself!

     Tell me what you guys think... (click on the photo to see the full size!)

A new day

     Have you ever been in almost complete and total darkness, just to have someone flip the light switch on? Your eyes were so used to the darkness that the light hits you smack in the face. That's exactly what I felt like today.

     I can't explain it, but a sudden jolt of happiness struck me this morning, and it's been with me ever since. It's been so long since I've been this bubbly that it almost made me tear up, no lie. In fact it's a bit creepy to think that not too long ago, I felt like this all the time.

     I really am a happy person! I was beginning to think otherwise.

     I suppose the best way to describe the way I feel is through my most recent musical obsession, Florence and the Machine.

So here we go boys and girls.... turn the playlist off, turn the lights down, turn the full screen on (at the bottom right of the box), and enjoy...



If you liked it, be sure to check out her other videos on my playlist HERE!

A Bitter Welcome

     Hi you guys. It's me again, that is if you ever remember me. I know, I know. I went a whole month without posting, and I'm sure you guys were absolutely ravenous for one of my classic posts. And I apologize for not being here, I do! But the important thing is that I'm here, now.

     So where to begin?

     Well, I suppose an update is in order. After the Christmas holidays were over, I sort of became enveloped in work and college (as always). My schedule is so messed up now. I was so used to having everything at night, then I had to schedule my classes during the day time. So not only was that an issue, but my relationship with Tim became strained.

    Should I venture into that story yet? Perhaps I should. I've got to warn you, it doesn't have a happy ending.
  
Okay here goes nothing:

      Well a while back, Holly, my best friend of four years, got a job at Arby's along with Tim. He and Holly hit it off from the very beginning. They enjoyed doing the same things, hanging out with the same people, and even had the same sense of humor.

     Now, keep in mind that Timmy and I are very different (as am I with Holly). We barely have anything in common when it comes to interests and humor, but we love each other to no ends.

     So, Tim became more and more enveloped in this growing relationship he had with Holly. Eventually, they had become best friends. Eventually, they grew closer than I was with Holly.

     There was a time when Holly and I were unquestionably loyal to each other. We were always there for one another, always kept each others secrets. But this new friendship that she and Tim had developed would soon outdo the one that we had. Tim became her confidante and pretty soon there were no secrets between them, even the ones that I had trusted with Holly alone.

     A bitterness grew withing my body. I began to get jealous. Not only of their friendship, but also of the amount of time that they spent together, away from me. All the secrets that hey had. All the things holly had told him, but would no longer tell me. It nearly drove me insane.

     When the second semester of college started again, my time was thinned extremely. I wanted all of my time to be with Tim, and I could sense us drifting apart. He began to spend more and more time away from me, and I was left alone. But to me, he was never alone. He had Holly.

     Soon, Tim and I began to argue. We fussed over almost anything. Eventually, he moved out of my house, and in with Holly. So they were spending their days together at her house and their nights together at work. I began to feel abandoned, and so I slipped into a pretty deep depression. I began to lose interest in almost everything. I just wanted to cry all the time. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be.

     I looked over the blogs of the old days, remembering a time when Tim and I were together almost all of the time. Things were so simple then.

     I tried to make appointments for Tim and I to be together, alone. Sometimes the plans fell into place, most of the time they didn't and that caused me to become angry with him. To me, It was almost as if he'd lost interest in me altogether.

    I sent him a message describing my unhappiness. Tim then told me that he had felt this moment coming, and so he decided it was in both of our best interests to split up. He told me that I needed someone that could give me the attention I deserved.

      The thing is, I don't want anybody else's attention but his. It's too late now. We've already broken up, and he's informed me that there's a pretty good chance that we won't get back together.

     I'm still stuck with him, though. He's in my thoughts, in the dark recesses of my mind when I'm alone, in my dreams even. It amazes me to see how resilient he is to my absence. It seems not to even bother him.
I guess I'll just move on, though